Adults need to provide a positive influence on children's lives and support them to allow them to thrive. Positive reinforcement allow children to feel good about themselves and enable them to gain more confidence which will create an opportunity for healthy growth and development. Good adult and child interactions are "respectful, playful, enjoyable, enabling, and rewarding (Learning and developing through interactions, n.d.). It is important to give children feedback on what they do, affirming their efforts, celebrate their progress and achievements, and help them tot learn from mistakes or challenges.
In order to understand more about communication between adults and children, I observed the dynamics of parent and child. I sat at a restaurant during dinner and was seated next to a woman with her 2 children, perhaps aged 5 and 9. It was quite crowded but not too difficult to hear and I could observe their gestures and interactions without being indiscreet or disturbing. This was not as much of an observation of communication but a lack thereof, which is equally as crucial to note. The children were given electronic devices to play whilst the mother was on her mobile telephone and only put them down to eat. When eating, they would discuss school and the mother constantly asked about grades and moved on without the mother commending them or making any further comment. It was a constant series of questions that seemed to not impress or worry her. The children were, however, not eager to please as they seemed resigned to the interrogative nature of the conversation, as if had many times previously. I initially thought that the lack of communication, prior to the meal, was disconcerting because of their reliance on technology and the limited personal connection. The conversation between them, on the other hand, was more puzzling as it seemed almost robotic, lacking emotion.
The children did not express their likes or dislikes and the mother didn't seem to really listen or acknowledge the children's statements as if she was not really listening intently (Stephenson, 2009). This communicative style seems as though it was a reoccurring theme, not a one-off instance. As parents, it's important to be engaging with your child's life. To make the communication more effective at this one point, however, would have been better facilitated if the technological devices had been removed and they perhaps discussed various topics about their day, as opposed to merely about grades and report cards. This would create a connection between the parties and allow positive reinforcements to establish good future relationships for the children. The bond between parental figure and child is important and should encourage a child to feel safe and happy. The, what I can only assume to be prolonged style of communication (perhaps a certain degree of neglect), can cause a child to feel demoralized, unimportant, and disappointed in themselves because they can't live up to an idea that they think their parents or guardians have of them.
Open communication is vital to build an honest and healthy relationship. Sometimes adults treat child as incompetent and less adequate individuals. I hope, and like to think, that I treat each individual child with respect and as equals. I have found that in a crowded classroom, it can be difficult to effectively listen to each child for a good amount of time each day but I try to ensure that I do so. I would like to improve my ability to discuss conversational techniques with parents and colleagues in ways that do not insult or target them.
Resources
Learning and developing through interactions. (n.d.). Aistear. Retrieved from http://www.ncca.biz/aistear/pdfs/guidelines_eng/interactions_eng.pdf
Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=37131016&site=ehost-live&scope=site
